21 today

My first born turns 21 on the 30th June and it is amazing the beautiful young women she has become.
We were only watching the film clips of her younger years. So much has happened in our lives both good,bad and ugly. God has been by our side.
I have been so slack with this blog and reading other blogs but I have paid work to attend to.
Staying at home and happily writing and reading books whenever I wish has come to a stand still.
I will still fiercely protect time for me though and in fact turned down a job that involved catching a train at 7.15 in the morning and travelling one hour into the city to teach English.
Instead I am tutoring children with literacy needs and have picked up 2 ESL students at my husband's school. I return to my job at the lavender farm in August of which I enjoy.
There are so many interesting people that come through and so many story ideas.
I have applied for one more year away from my teaching job and hope my direction will become clearer for 2009.
I have been reading Patti Miller's book called 'The memoir book'
Her other titles are fantastic as well.So far my writing just seems to be odd fragments(scraps of paper ,notebooks) all over the place so I am hoping I can get some direction happening.
It is fitting to be reading a book about writing memoir as I reflect on my life and especially the growing up of my daughter.
Patti talks about what is it like for you to be here in this world?
On p38 she states'In memoir what you feel about your life will be revealed,rather than what you think about it,will be revealed in the voice'
Everyone we observe has a life different from us that makes for good stories. When I was in the city last Friday I was really drawn to observing people and their actions,clothes ,voices and wondered about their lives.There was one man in his 60's on the bus carrying a bunch of yellow flowers wrapped in newspaper.He was dressed in a suit.Where was he going? What was his life?He has to be a character in a story!!
Observe ,record,imagine.I am lost in the wonder of it all.I wrote this small piece to somehow start to write about my life through patchwork pieces.

I sighed as I sewed the last stitch into the green homespun.The quilt was puffy and defined with many stitches.My fingers felt abused and jittered now with the stillness of it all.
Feather stitich danced across the colours joining the segments of my life,many shapes connecting merging,crying ,sighing and clearly laughing.Over many months I had spent many hours choosing,cutting and stitching but not only that,my mind wandered back as I touched the fragments of my life.........................

I am beautiful

The hardest thing to say sometimes.
I went to a women's retreat on the weekend and we had to first say to the person next to us "You are beautiful." Easy Peasy!
Then we had to say "I am beautiful"Not so easy.
We have become conscious of the world view instead of the spiritual view of beauty.
My hands may be spotty ,my body sagging etc etc but I am going to practise in front of the mirror."I am beautiful"
I am reminded of the story of Snow White.
"Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all"
I think we sometimes see the ugliness there instead.
We have an inner beauty that we need to let shine.
Shine on.

Blah Blah

It is cold here today and and I am restless jumping between jobs.
I am having trouble focusing so I need to write something.

Blah blah!
Nah nah nani na!!
What to say
What to think
I don't know
Want to share
But what?
Words.
Trouble is today they are dry,
wizened and sad.
They do not want to gently curl,
and nestle in my hand,
and play music on the page.
They sit cold,brittle
but for a small piece of wick.
Blow blow gently........
and warm the small stick.
Till green transforms
and glows into a melody that sings in my heart.

Ok then that helped.Back to work.

A leopard can change its spots

Last year I was drawn to the leopard as a symbol of my journey and walk in life .

Today when I viewed mermaid musing on post "Celebration" the mermaid tail all in leopard print reminded me of my journey of self discovery.

Me as leopard can change spots.

Leopards are bold, beautiful and courageous.

I relate this to assertiveness and a sureness of self.

I can change myself and be adaptable,

I do not need to be stuck in a mould that others put me into,

I can be free.

Statements from others cannot get through my fur,

I can hunt for what I need.

I am still loving and protective,

I do not allow myself to be tamed, but can be wild,

in the sense of responding and listening to my intuition.

I see myself as a rainbow leopard,

But have many wardrobe changes as need arises.

I choose the spots.

This is what I work towards in my life and there are so many wonderful spots.

Bio Poem

Thankyou to Tamara Bastiaans from Pathways to the Past
You will find instructions there on how to write a bio poem.
Here is mine.

Thora
Who is caring,smiley,creative.
Who is sister of Chris.
Who loves teddies,rainbows,strawberries and cream.
Who feels life is marching on too quick,
to soon.
Who needs time to reflect,ponder,
reach out and make her mark.
Who gives a full heart to others but is also still searching.
Who would like to see peace in the world,
more connection between people
and less busyness.
Who shares a house with her husband,son and daughter,
As well as the animal menagerie :cat,dog,bird and turtle.
Who trys to clean up the house but never gets there.
Who is a resident of beautiful South Australia
Thora.

The wonderful aspect of this writing is that it can be done on another day and have different outcomes.And it does not need to rhyme.
As we write in this spontaneous way we find out about ourselves as well.
It could also be used to create characters for stories.
Have fun.

Sunshine

This piece relates to Sharon's post.
It is amazing how thoughts coincide.
I wrote this poem back in March and made a collage.
It all started when I reflected on Yellow.
I am not sure what sort of poem it is but as you can see the last word is the beginning of the next.